Random Bohemians
by notEASYbeingGREEN
Summary: Starts out as a random fanfic I wrote when I was sick, then gets to be a real story...kinda. There are hints of randomness in later chaps. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was written at midnight when I had the worst cold imaginable. **

**Disclaimer: I WISH I owned Rent. But alas, it belongs to its late and great creator, Jonathan Larson. **

Everyone was in the loft except for Angel and Collins. They had taken a trip to Bermuda. Roger and Mimi were sitting in the loft, having a heated discussion about curly fries and if they really should be curly. Mark was filming stuff on the fire escape, and Maureen was braiding Joanne's hair.

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Mimi," Roger said, frustrated, "of course curly fries should be curly! Where do you think they get their name, huh?"

"Well," Mimi said while doing a handstand, "maybe a guy with curly hair invented them. Maybe they were straight before, then people made them curly! Ever think of it that way?"

"No," Roger said, "but I understand and agree because I love you so much." Then he started to play the harmonica. Mimi began to tango, and then Mark joined her.

"The tango, Maureen," they sang.

"HEY!" Joanne screamed as Maureen strung some popcorn into her hair, "That's my song, and my dance partner! No offense, Mimi."

"Done, Pookie!" Maureen exclaimed. Then she jumped onto the table and started to do the cotton-eyed joe. Joanne took out a small mirror from her pocket, took one look at herself, and fainted.

"JOANNE," Maureen screamed and rushed over to her girlfriend. She sat down beside her and began to untie all of the popcorn, pipe cleaners, markers and various cheeses from her hair. She shook Joanne awake and then they began to chant.

"Eleka nahmen, nahmen, ah tum, ah tum, elekah nahmen!" they said.

Then, a puff of purple smoke appeared. Mimi started to cough, and Roger thumped her on the back.

"Not helping!" she choked out. Roger apologized and watched the smoke. Out of it came...APRIL!!!

"HOWDY, Y'ALL!" she said loudly, then lassoed Roger.

"Oh, Hell no," Mimi said, then took the lasso off of Roger and started to beat April up.

Mimi kept punching April in the stomach, but April just laughed. Then, eventually, Mimi started giggling as well.

"Want to be best friends?" Mimi asked April, and April nodded her head.

"We can talk about how stupid Roger can be sometimes!" April said, and she walked out of the loft with Mimi. They looked like they were in the third grade: acting silly and giggling like eight-year-olds. Roger sat down, clutching a soft pretzel.

By this time, Maureen had gotten Joanne mad. (A/N: no offense to Maureen. She was played by Idina Menzel, so she rox my sox.)

"You were flirting with a fucking PIGEON, Maureen," Joanne said, her face red.

"He was hot," Maureen said back, and winked at a pigeon. It flew away.

"WE WERE OVER ANYWAY!" Maureen shouted at it. Then she started to cry. Joanne went to the bathroom, and everyone heard puking noises.

Mark went outside and started serenading random people on the street. This action got him beat up by several old ladies. He came back to the loft, muttered something about the lady with the green bag and how she had a good arm, then went to bed. It was only 6:30.

Joanne had come back out of the bathroom, and went up to Maureen. Maureen looked at Joanne, and she had the I'm-sorry-Pookie look on her face. Joanne simply crossed her arms over her chest and started to lecture Maureen.

"You know, Maureen, I love you a lot. But when you're constantly flirting with people, it really upsets me. After you do it, you always come crying back to me! Well, not anymore, Honeybe - uh - Maureen! We're over! And I want all of your stuff out of my apartment after next week!"

With that, she stormed out of the loft. Maureen went to the couch and sat next to Roger. Roger started to cry, then Maureen called him a baby.

"My dead ex-girlfriend just came back and stole my girlfriend away from me," Roger said in a daze.

"Oh, shut up," Maureen snapped at him, "I just lost my girlfriend too!"

Then Joanne walked back in and apologized to Maureen. Maureen stood there with her mouth wide open.

"Let's go to Alaska!" Joanne said, pulling out two winter jackets. Maureen went and got a sled and then they both left.

"MARK IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALONE, NOT ME!" Roger shouted to no one in particular. And with that, he turned on the TV and began to watch Spanish soap operas.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: new update. R&R, please?!?!? Sorry, I'm pretty sure that this is really bad! **

**Disclaimer: you know it's not mine.**

April and Mimi walked into the loft, chattering away about goldfish. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Roger.

He was sitting on the couch, eating vanilla ice cream, and crying his eyes out. The TV was spitting out random Spanish phrases, and Roger would break down and cry more and more with each one. Mimi walked over to the TV and turned it off.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" Roger yelled, jumping up, "Now I'll never know if Rico and Esmerelda are going to be together forever!"

"Excuse me?" April said, walking over to Roger, "Did you just say 'RICO'?"

Roger gave her a glare that screamed _shut up_ all over it, so she did. He walked over to to the couch and sat back down, eating his ice cream.

"Roger, why are you so mad?" Mimi asked. "It's not like I left you for the Ape, here."

"That was my nickname for her," Roger sniffled, and Mimi handed him a Kleenex.

"Okay, since when can you guys afford Kleenex?" April asked, eyeing the expensive price of $2.95. "When I was around, we just used our sleeves."

"Apey, he clearly needs a Kleenex," Mimi said. After a while, she added, "I wonder why they call them Kleenex tissues? I mean they sound like they're saying x out the clean."

"Oh my God!" April exclaimed, "I've always wondered the same thing! Isn't it crazy?"

"Totally," Mimi said, and before long the two were in a very important discussion about Kleenex tissues. Roger was trying to be patient and let them talk, but he really needed to tell them something.

"GUYS!" he said loudly, and they immediately stopped talking. Mimi went to sit on Roger's lap, and April just watched them in all of their cute-ness.

"I swear, you guys make _the cutest couple ever_!!!" she squealed as she ate a donut, and Mimi giggled.

"We do, don't we?" Mimi said seriously, then gave Roger a cute little kiss on the lips.

"April," Roger said, "You okay with this? Me and Mimi?"

"Duh! I met someone up there." She jabbed a finger in the sky's direction. "His name's Donald."

"Oh, that's so cute," Mimi said, "You guys are a cute little angel couple."

"Not quite," April said, "We almost got kicked out of the place."

"That's un-...uh, what was the word?" Roger started. He thought, and kept saying, "Un-, ugh, what was it? OH! I remember now, unethical!"

"Unethical?" Mimi said, getting up to stand by the window, "I didn't even know you knew that word."

"Yeah, well I do," Roger pouted, "So there. And doesn't it have something to do with chocolate chips?"

"NO!" Mimi and April screamed at him. Mimi sat back down on Roger's lap and began to massage her temples. April continued her story.

"So, Donald was also from New York, and he passed the same way I did," April said, "And one day we were really bored. We got all of these eggs and started throwing them at random houses, and-"

"Wait!" Mimi said as she jumped up. "There are houses up there? Do you live in one?"

April nodded, and said that she lived with Donald. She told them how she decorated the place like the loft, and Roger gave a thumbs-up sign to the sky. Mimi and April looked at him funny.

"The loft rocks," he explained, "I gave Donald a thumbs-up." The girls nodded.

"Can I continue, please?" April said, and even though she didn't get a answer, she kept talking. "So, like I was saying, Donald and I were really bored, so we just got these eggs and started throwing them at random houses. Turns out, one of those houses belonged to the _head guy_ and his wife."

Just then, a rain cloud came out of nowhere, and it started pouring all over April. Only April, though, not on Roger or Mimi.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!!!" April screamed to the sky, and the heavy rain then turned into a light drizzle.

"Now, that's better."

**A/N: k, sorry, bad ending. If anyone has any better ideas...let me know. R&R!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, i got a lot more reviews than i thought i would! (Which is kinda sad, cuz I didn't get that many--hint, hint) Thanks to all you guys who reviewed! Ok, this is a weak chapter...Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: not mine. I WISH it was, but it's not. ::sniffle::**

April was still being rained on, and Mimi and Roger had begun to make out on the couch. April thought this was cute, so she brought her rain cloud into the bathroom to give them some privacy.

_Brings back memories, _she thought to herself, but immediately scolded herself for thinking such a thing. _I can't...not again...I wouldn't...would I?_ Again, she shook the thought. How could she kill herself again if she was already dead? Plus, why would she even want to? April laughed at herself for thinking such a thing.

She walked back out into the "living room." Well, it had a couch. And a crappy table. Yeah, it was a living room. Roger and Mimi were talking quietly, and when they saw April, they immediately stopped.

"Thank God you're alright!" Mimi exclaimed. She jumped up and gave April a hug. April hugged her back, and then pulled away. She grabbed a pair of scissors and started cutting her hair so that it was very short. When she was done, she sat down next to Roger, and Mimi sat on his lap.

"Why were you guys worried?" she asked them, although she already had a pretty good guess of what they were going to say.

"Oh, uh, well-"

"Save it," April said flatly, "I'm not going to kill myself again. I'm _already dead_, you idiots." They laughed, and dropped the idea.

"Hey Meems? And April could hear this, too, I guess," Roger said, and the two girls looked up. April looked tired and wet, and Mimi looked like April's opposite. Energetic and, well, dry.

"Before, uh," Roger stuttered, "when you were having your Kleenex discussion? I had wanted to tell you something. But you were too wrapped up in tissue talk."

The girls couldn't help but giggle, and they began to laugh and roll around on the floor. "Tissue talk," was one of the funniest things that both of them had ever heard. Roger didn't find anything at all funny (since he was being serious), and had no idea what they were laughing at.

Suddenly, Mimi stood up. "I want peanut butter," she said, and ran off to the kitchen area to get some. April had recovered, but had tears streaming down her cheeks, she was laughing so hard. She sat back on the couch and looked at Roger.

"Something wrong?" she asked him, trying to keep the mood light. She could tell it wasn't working.

When Roger didn't answer her, she immediately got worried. She said the first idea that popped into her head.

"Oh, God Roger, are your T-Cells low?"

Roger burst out laughing. "Funny, April. God, I'd be punching a wall if my T-Cells were low. And besides, you would have known by now."

"Yeah, so?" she said defensively, "I get worried about you! You and Mimi still have AIDS, and I don't want you dying!"

"Aaaaaawww, Apey, that's sweet," Mimi said, coming back from outside the kitchen. She had a twig in her hand with peanut butter on it.

"Meems?" April said, giving Mimi an odd look. Mimi pretended not to notice. "Is it safe for you to be eating peanut butter on a _twig_?"

"Dunno," Mimi said as she licked off the rest of the peanut butter, which was a lot, I must say. "I lurv poonuf booffer," she said with the entire thing in her mouth. She worked on swallowing it, when Roger cleared his throat again.

"Hi guys, remember me? Roger?" he said sarcastically, and the girls looked up. "Hey, I've only been trying to tell you guys something for the PAST HALF AN HOUR, DAMMIT!"

"Don't be an ass, Davis," April said, "Tell us your big news."

"Okay," Roger said excitedly, "you know how you guys left me alone for awhile after you just _walked out on me_?" The girls nodded sheepishly.

"Okay, well, the whole time you were gone, I was thinking that _you left me for each other,"_ Roger said, glaring at the two of them. The girls had to stifle giggles, but didn't do a very good job. They burst out laughing..._again._

When they finished, Roger was meditating. He had his legs in a full-lotus (A/N: sorry, I do yoga. A full-lotus is sort of like what you see on T.V. cartoons, when characters are meditating.)

"I needed a way to calm down. Collins taught me how to do this years ago. I just can't get my legs out of this position. Little help, girls?" Mimi rushed over and quickly untangled his legs from the uncomfortable position. Then April walked over and stuck one leg behind his neck. He squeaked and turned red.

"What was that for?" he asked. Well, it was more of a whisper, but April still heard him.

"Dunno," she said, "I wanted to see you in human pretzel form. Well, half-pretzel, but still." Mimi shot her a glare, so she walked over to Roger and pulled his leg back to its proper position. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank God," he said, massaging his thigh. April rolled her eyes and sat back down on the couch, and Mimi sat next to her.

"What were you going to say, Davis?" April asked, and Mimi looked over at Roger.

"As I was saying before," Roger continued, "While you guys were out, I was sulking, thinking that you were doing God-knows-what while you were gone. I had turned on the TV, and there were these two people, singing this really beautiful song and talking to each other dramatically. Except, it was in Spanish! And here's the funny part! I actually liked it, and understood a little bit!"

"You seriously watched Spanish soap operas the whole time we were gone?" Mimi asked, looking surprised. April looked equally shocked, but Roger kept continuing.

"Yes I did, and I found them exciting," he said, and April and Mimi exchanged what-the-hell-is-Roger-up-to looks. "So," he continued, "I called up the station and asked if I could work there playing music for the soap..."

**A/N: k, what should happen next? R&R, and honestly tell me if this story is just a bunch of shit, okay?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: haha, I'm finally updating. Even though I got, like, no reviews. And Hannah Montanna (who I'm not too fond of) is in this chappie! I think this is the last one, unless anyone has an idea for another chapter.**

**Disclaimer: still ain't mine! DANG IT!**

"So," Roger continued, "I called up the station and asked if I could work there playing music for the soap..."

April and Mimi burst out laughing. Milk started coming out of their noses, which was odd because they didn't even drink any in the first place. Roger handed them Kleenex tissues which April still thought were way too expensive. Mimi nodded to him to let him finish.

"I'm traveling to Cuba to play music for the show!" he said, and he started kissing Mimi. A lot. "Meems, will you come with me?" Mimi nodded between kisses, and April smiled.

"Alrighty," she said. She started packing a suitcase that a dwarf had given her the year before. "I have to go now. Bye Roger, bye Meems." The two girls hugged, and April gave Mimi her phone number. They hugged one last time, and then April disappeared into thin air. Roger started acting like a chicken, and Mimi went to pack up their stuff.

At that very moment, Angel and Collins walked into the loft, singing with Hannah Montanna. All three were very drunk. "YOU GET THE _BEST_ OF BOTH WORLDS!" they slurred, then Hannah passed out. Collins and Angel high-fived, and threw her out the window. They heard various _cracks,_ which they assumed were the teenager's bones. They high-fived again, and Roger stoped acting like a chicken. He _did_ put on a sombrero, though.

"Heehee…Roger has a hattie!" Collins slurred, then became totally sober. The couple consisting of Joanne and Maureen came through the door, congratulating Roger about landing the job in Cuba. Maureen thought his hat was cute, so she took it and ran away. Right before she left, she grabbed Joanne's hand and they mumbled something about going back to Alaska.

"Sooooo," Angel said, "You got a job in Cuba? That's so cool, but I'm not being separated from Mimi, here, so I'm coming!"

"_ANGEL, NO, DON'T LEAVE ME!" _Collins yelled, sobbing all over the floor. Angel gave him a big hug, then told him to be a big boy. She also told him that he could come, and he immediately called up the airport, getting them airline tickets to France.

"Why France?" Angel, Mimi and Roger asked, and Collins shrugged. Angel and Mimi began talking in Spanish, while Roger attempted to tango with himself. Then the French Ambassador's daughter came in, taught him to tango, and went to Miss Porter's with Nanette Himmelfarb. Roger shrugged and tried to tango with a broom. He didn't tango, but he did get rid of the majority of dust in the loft.

"TO FRANCE!" Collins yelled.

"TO HANDCRAFTED BEERS…" Mimi yelled.

"NOT THIS AGAIN!" Roger yelled, and they all shut up.

"TO FRANCE!" Collins yelled again, and they all cheered.

"Huzzah!" Angel called, putting on her Viking helmet. They all ran to the airport to get on a plane to France. It was right after they left when Mark stumbled out of his room, recovering from the abusive old ladies. He looked around, very confused, to find the loft empty.

"How long was I asleep?"

**A/N: k, that's it.**


End file.
